Tell me I'm a bad man.

I wish you would call me right now.
Just to remind me that you /will/ call me later.
I'd kill someone to get that text/phone call right now.
I'm sorry for what I did, and I understand completely why you're mad at me.
But stay my friend, at the very least.
I'm a terrible person, I'm aware...
I'm sorry I smothered you,
I'm sorry I never learned,
I'm sorry all your friends hate me,
But I'll back off, I learned this time, and my friends hate you too (it's not stopping me)
I trust you, and until wednesday night, you trusted me.
I hope I can sustain most of that trust.
I'd never lie to you, Aurora.
Never ever.
I tell you the truth more than I tell myself the truth.
I hope you have fun tonight, you deserve it, but don't just drop what we had.
Not yet...
Not this time...
I'm crying for you, on the inside.
I'm just trying to look strong on the outside.

I /did/ quit.
I promise, tell your father I promise.
I /am/ straightedge.
I quit. I quit.
I don't want to fuck my life up all over again.

I love you, text me, call me, DM me...
Something, as soon as Demi is over...
I'm yours, forever and always.
I'm sorry, again.

I was looking through my notebook today and I saw something that said:
"Dear future Ryan, do you remember RDoll?"

Right underneath that it reads:
"Yes. Dear future Ryan, don't fuck up again."



Goodbye, Goodnight...
Ryan(baby?) Thomas Dilks.