Personality flaws.

I was staring at the bottom of the toilet.
I could see my faint reflection, past the puke that had just come out of my mouth.
I rear back.
Another load flies, but this time there's blood mixed in.
A small amount, but an amount nonetheless.
I stare at the blood, which swirls with last nights dinner.
"Maybe it's fruit punch"
I tell myself.
I spit.
It's blood.
I can taste it.
"Fuck." I try to say.
What I really say is "Fu- akjsdnvin" because I puke.
No blood.
But my throat is burning.
There's loads of bile in the bowl.
I flush.
Rear back.
Puke.
Something comes out.
Something large.
It appears to be my stomach.
Yes.
Awesome.
Here I am, turning inside out in the toilet.
In pain, Slowly.
But private.
This is not how I wanted to go out.
No bang.

I am dying in this bathroom.
I am going to die a virgin, a bad man, with plenty of regrets.
H1N1 is murdering me.

I can see my reflection clearly again.
It's like there's a mirror at the bottom of the porcelain chair.
But there's not.
I wish there were.
I want to see what dying looks like.
I look up, into the mirror on my wall.
Fuck.
I look like shit.
Maybe I shouldn't have looked up....
"Fuck," I manage, "I look like shit... Maybe I shouldn't have lo-kjdvnbkj"
More puke.
My face is gone...
And it was then.
There.
Staring into that toilet, regretting my death, that I decided it was NOT time.
I slowly try to stand, I make it to my feet.
I am naked.
But I am NOT going to die naked.
I am NOT going to die a virgin.
I am NOT going to die today.
I drop to my knees.
Naked.
A virgin.
Today.
I puke.

Fuck.