1. the buildup "Hey, (namegoeshere) I think we should talk."
it is third period. Still. I just want to go home. It's not very often that my phone gets signal in that class. but when it does, i always seem to get an important text.
This one is from J! "I'm sorry I haven't texted you in a while, I'm just trying to figure myself out, Just like you are."
I text her back "I've figured you out. It's time to figure myself out now. I'll talk to you after school."
2. the false hope "No it's nothing bad, just important."
it is sixth period. Still. I just want to go home. I write her a note and throw it across the table.
"I never got a chance to tell you who I like, yesterday."
She reads this and smiles.
Adorable smile.
"Who?"
I read it and shiver.
She wasn't supposed to ask.
"You."
The note flies across the table and lands on her folder.
She unfolds the note and looks at it.
I can see the single word reflected in her eyes.
you
She smiles and writes something else down.
"Idk, I think we should just be friends."
Story of my life.
Bell rings.
Time to go home.
I throw the note in the trashcan and leave her in the dust.
3. the letdown "I just can't stay."
i am sitting in band.
I am holding my trombone and looking pissed off.
I am.
Arnold won't shut the fuck up.
"Arnold, shut the fuck up, please?"
That was SectionLeader.
Arnold doesn't shut the fuck up.
I just want to stab him.
In the chest.
Ten times.
my phone vibrates.
J!
the word appears on my screen.
you.
"I know, J!"
4. the fake apologies. "I'm sorry, Truly."
it is last night.
I'm laying on the chair/bed/thingy.
I am thirsty.
The TV is off.
there is no noise.
I cannot sleep like this.
My niece is sleeping in a box.
Does it make me a bad person if I want to tape the box shut?
probably.
I text Kathy.
"I am going to hurt someone tomorrow."
She is sleeping in a box.
I don't know why this bothers me as much as it does.
it shouldn't.
But it does.
I text J!
"My niece is sleeping in a box."
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"Wtf? Why?"
i shrug.
Which is stupid.
she doesn't see.
I text her back
"I don't know. But it pisses me off. Goodnight."
5. the day after. "-awkward silence-"
it is today.
After band.
I text J!
"I'm out of band, now."
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"I don't want to talk to you right now."
I look over at Arnold.
He's still being a dick.
I want to stab him still.
Instead I call him a dumbass and walk to my moms car angrily.
six. the regret.
it is almost literally right now.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"I'm sorry about earlier, Ryan. It wasn't you. It was me."
I text her back.
"Sure. It's fine. Come back to school. I miss you."
it is third period. Still. I just want to go home. It's not very often that my phone gets signal in that class. but when it does, i always seem to get an important text.
This one is from J! "I'm sorry I haven't texted you in a while, I'm just trying to figure myself out, Just like you are."
I text her back "I've figured you out. It's time to figure myself out now. I'll talk to you after school."
2. the false hope "No it's nothing bad, just important."
it is sixth period. Still. I just want to go home. I write her a note and throw it across the table.
"I never got a chance to tell you who I like, yesterday."
She reads this and smiles.
Adorable smile.
"Who?"
I read it and shiver.
She wasn't supposed to ask.
"You."
The note flies across the table and lands on her folder.
She unfolds the note and looks at it.
I can see the single word reflected in her eyes.
you
She smiles and writes something else down.
"Idk, I think we should just be friends."
Story of my life.
Bell rings.
Time to go home.
I throw the note in the trashcan and leave her in the dust.
3. the letdown "I just can't stay."
i am sitting in band.
I am holding my trombone and looking pissed off.
I am.
Arnold won't shut the fuck up.
"Arnold, shut the fuck up, please?"
That was SectionLeader.
Arnold doesn't shut the fuck up.
I just want to stab him.
In the chest.
Ten times.
my phone vibrates.
J!
the word appears on my screen.
you.
"I know, J!"
4. the fake apologies. "I'm sorry, Truly."
it is last night.
I'm laying on the chair/bed/thingy.
I am thirsty.
The TV is off.
there is no noise.
I cannot sleep like this.
My niece is sleeping in a box.
Does it make me a bad person if I want to tape the box shut?
probably.
I text Kathy.
"I am going to hurt someone tomorrow."
She is sleeping in a box.
I don't know why this bothers me as much as it does.
it shouldn't.
But it does.
I text J!
"My niece is sleeping in a box."
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"Wtf? Why?"
i shrug.
Which is stupid.
she doesn't see.
I text her back
"I don't know. But it pisses me off. Goodnight."
5. the day after. "-awkward silence-"
it is today.
After band.
I text J!
"I'm out of band, now."
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"I don't want to talk to you right now."
I look over at Arnold.
He's still being a dick.
I want to stab him still.
Instead I call him a dumbass and walk to my moms car angrily.
six. the regret.
it is almost literally right now.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
"I'm sorry about earlier, Ryan. It wasn't you. It was me."
I text her back.
"Sure. It's fine. Come back to school. I miss you."
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