How To Kill Yourself From the Inside Out, Part 2

1. Pretend To Have A Mental Disorder

i feel very uninterested in everything and i want to get up and play video games or something but i can't because i'm too busy writing. maybe if i talked to my friends while  going fast and turning left i'd suddenly feel happier but i doubt it. my sister and brother in law got back from maryland last night while i was asleep and i still havent seen my sister because shes at work and thats fine because she has to work otherwise i wouldn't get dinner tonight but i'm hungry and i miss my sister. 

2. Base Relationships Entirely On The Basis That You're Insane

I want to leave here. Not to go anywhere specific, but I want to leave... here. And just stop being here. I don't know why but I'm done being right here at this moment in this spot, because theres no reason for me to be right here at this moment in this spot.

3. Create A Blog Based Entirely On The Assumption That You're Insane

Sometimes I used to feel like drinking hard liquor and getting plastered and raping my ex-girlfriend. Thats an unhealthy thought to have, but sometimes I wonder if there will be any real repercussions or if she would react at all. But I'm turned off by the thought of being that drunk. Thats a bit interesting I guess, it's not the rape that turns me off, it's the drunkenness. She fucking hurt me pretty bad in the past and that's a bad thing. Maybe that's why I don't think that much of the rape.

4. Opt Out Of Insanity And Instead Choose Drugs

I wonder what I'll do with my life after I leave high school. Everyone says I should be a writer or some shit, those are the same people who say I should be a comedian or some shit. There are people who say I should be the president or some shit. And people who say I could do anything with my life, because I'm just that smart, and it's depressing that I lack ambition and shit. But really, I want to make enough money to open up the restaurant my family has always talked about opening. That's my secret goal. Thats what I've secretly always wanted. Because I'm a faggot, and my dreams don't coincide at all with my skill-set. I'll probably be a writer or some shit.

5. Reveal That You Never Did Drugs

I cuss a lot for artistic value: That's bullshit. I cuss a lot because I love cuss words. But maybe it is artistic in a way. When most people use obscenities it detracts from their writing or point or whatever. But when I cuss it adds to the point and the value and the point. It makes everything just that much stronger. Maybe people who get criticized for their cussing just aren't cussing right. I should teach a fucking class, because I cuss like a champ.

6. Hate Yourself For Being A Liar

Sometimes I want to be an inspiration, and get in stage with a bunch of people waiting to hear me speak, and praying that the curtain drops and they get to hear me say my name and a few pieces of unintelligent bullshit about mainstream media and turning pages and then i'll start to sing some equally arduous song about being yourself and living life and being beautiful and then I'll leave the stage and they'll chant for me and I'll walk back out and the girls will wet their pants and then I'll play the opening chord to some shitty song about sunglasses that sounds like it's about a girl I loved and everyone will sing it for me so that I can stay silent and soak in all the attention I'm getting because I wouldn't be doing it for the love of music, I'd do it for the lack of punctuation.