1. Find The Right Girl/Guy
"Um, hey. You know Ryan Dilks?"
"Yes?"
"Well he says you're cute"
"Ew."
"Yo, Dilks, she says 'Ew!'"
Fucking smooth, kid. Why did you think that it would be cool to get your friends to tell the girl you like that you like her. That has never been cool. Nobody has ever thought that that was attractive. There was never a girl that said "Ooh, social anxiety and an inability to talk to me without thinking that he looks like a fucking asshole, how cute and charming, I should sleep with him." Nobody likes people who can't say a fucking word. Thats why you go on chat-rooms and night time and masturbate while talking to weird people who are probably 90 year old faggots with beer-bellies anyway and that's a horrible habit to get into, kill yourself.
And so after that inner commentary and I've calmed myself down with rigorous self-hatred, I decide that it's time to like a different girl, and when I do, I end up either being a shy weirdo or being a douchebag and that's a bad thing, and I hate it.
2. Make Them Love You
"I love you, Ryan! You're really sweet. I've never had a boyfriend before, so..."
I would kiss her, but she looks like shit, and I hate the way she tastes. So I just give her a hug and nod. I should tell her that I don't like her but I don't, because I'm having too much fun being an asshole, because being an asshole can be a lot of fun, when you concentrate, I guess. Maybe I should just ignore her for a little bit and see if she stops caring, but I don't think she will, that tactic never really works. Maybe if I cheat on her she'll be inclined to break up with me. But then I remember that she's stupid, and will refuse to break up with me if I cheat. I wish I had the ability to just dump her. Maybe I really do like her. I've made that mistake before.
3. Slowly Distance Yourself (Not To Be Confused With Fucking Their Sibling)
I have a friend who says the word "Fuck" a lot. I do too, but he says it for fun, I use it for artistic value. Anyway, he says fuck a lot and he uses a lot of girls, not to make things hurt less, like I did, he does it because it's fun for him. He thinks it's a game to kiss a girl just to make her feel stupid, or fuck a girl and then, after a few weeks of telling her he loves her, fuck her sister (or brother, a few times.) But his favorite mode of action is to just stop talking to them. Delete their number, and just avoid them. Because they go nuts and he loves it. They spend a little bit of time hating him, but then they just want his cock and it's horrible. Because he gives them his cock and then makes them feel stupid. I have a friend who acts like a douche bag and knows it, and loves it. He says fuck a lot and I wish he wasn't my friend, but apparently I like running around with a bunch of people who make me feel like a better person, simply by being bad people.
4. Let Them Bleed
There was this girl I used to go with whose name was Riley, we weren't technically dating, but thats not the point. The point is actually a few years before we even thought about going out. Back in middle school, actually. We sat next to each other in math and we hated one another for no reason other than the fact that hating one another was so easy. I was a little, scrawny, annoying white kid and she was a bitchy, stuck-up Pinay who had a bad habit of falling in faux-love with my close friends. And naturally, because I'm attracted to things that are fucked-up, I liked her. A lot. We didn't hate each other all the time, actually, we went through cycles of being close and then being enemies. She invited me to her birthday party one day and there was this girl there that I also liked who would go on to be my first girlfriend, and I think she might have kissed me, but I don't know, because I didn't pay much attention, but she was cute. Anyway, Riley hooked us up, to some extent and I liked that. Riley and I went out a little bit, but not really, between my sophomore and junior year, and we broke up and I stalked her and she thinks I still am, but I'm not. I'm just trying to get back in touch, because frankly, it's not worth it to live your whole life hating someone for no real reason.
5. Forget Their Name
I use the words "I used to" A lot. I'm not sure why, but maybe it's because I spend a lot of time being ignored and then finally forgotten about. Anyway, I used to have these friends that I hung out with a lot and did a lot of things with and was moderately close to. We were like, a group. We were, in fact, the group. Only one of them still talks to me, and I don't know why, but one day we just decided to stop being friends. I guess that it's only natural to one day stop giving a shit about people who you used to hang out with, but that's a reality that most people try to avoid.
6. Tell Yourself That It Hurt You, Too.
The key to success in life is to just live until you die, without dwelling on anything except for what was immediate and unavoidable. That's what I tell myself. It makes it easier to sleep at night, especially when you're a kid with no ambition.
3. Slowly Distance Yourself (Not To Be Confused With Fucking Their Sibling)
I have a friend who says the word "Fuck" a lot. I do too, but he says it for fun, I use it for artistic value. Anyway, he says fuck a lot and he uses a lot of girls, not to make things hurt less, like I did, he does it because it's fun for him. He thinks it's a game to kiss a girl just to make her feel stupid, or fuck a girl and then, after a few weeks of telling her he loves her, fuck her sister (or brother, a few times.) But his favorite mode of action is to just stop talking to them. Delete their number, and just avoid them. Because they go nuts and he loves it. They spend a little bit of time hating him, but then they just want his cock and it's horrible. Because he gives them his cock and then makes them feel stupid. I have a friend who acts like a douche bag and knows it, and loves it. He says fuck a lot and I wish he wasn't my friend, but apparently I like running around with a bunch of people who make me feel like a better person, simply by being bad people.
4. Let Them Bleed
There was this girl I used to go with whose name was Riley, we weren't technically dating, but thats not the point. The point is actually a few years before we even thought about going out. Back in middle school, actually. We sat next to each other in math and we hated one another for no reason other than the fact that hating one another was so easy. I was a little, scrawny, annoying white kid and she was a bitchy, stuck-up Pinay who had a bad habit of falling in faux-love with my close friends. And naturally, because I'm attracted to things that are fucked-up, I liked her. A lot. We didn't hate each other all the time, actually, we went through cycles of being close and then being enemies. She invited me to her birthday party one day and there was this girl there that I also liked who would go on to be my first girlfriend, and I think she might have kissed me, but I don't know, because I didn't pay much attention, but she was cute. Anyway, Riley hooked us up, to some extent and I liked that. Riley and I went out a little bit, but not really, between my sophomore and junior year, and we broke up and I stalked her and she thinks I still am, but I'm not. I'm just trying to get back in touch, because frankly, it's not worth it to live your whole life hating someone for no real reason.
5. Forget Their Name
I use the words "I used to" A lot. I'm not sure why, but maybe it's because I spend a lot of time being ignored and then finally forgotten about. Anyway, I used to have these friends that I hung out with a lot and did a lot of things with and was moderately close to. We were like, a group. We were, in fact, the group. Only one of them still talks to me, and I don't know why, but one day we just decided to stop being friends. I guess that it's only natural to one day stop giving a shit about people who you used to hang out with, but that's a reality that most people try to avoid.
6. Tell Yourself That It Hurt You, Too.
The key to success in life is to just live until you die, without dwelling on anything except for what was immediate and unavoidable. That's what I tell myself. It makes it easier to sleep at night, especially when you're a kid with no ambition.
You may have no ambition, but your posts are intriguing. I honestly hope very seriously that men don't actually think that way. If they do, I'm sticking to women. Do men really think that way? And falling out of friendship is easy. One day you wake up and realize that your friends are douchebags and your life is pretty much pointless.
ReplyDeleteMost men don't think that way, but everyone has their flaws. -shrug-
ReplyDelete