Melrose, CA.

You know how sometimes we make mistakes that we've made before and you know that you're making that mistake but you still make it?

"I did some bad things before I was a Marine." he frowned a little bit "things that take your memory away."
I was immediately reminded of me saying "I did some bad things before I met you. Things that I can't particularly say I regret."

She, of course, and as is to be expected, asked me what that meant. But I was afraid to tell her. Last night that mistake caught up with me. That mistake was sitting at a coffee shop next to Johnny Rockets. That mistake saw me before I saw her. And she tried not to make it obvious but I noticed.

I don't really know the difference between "I miss you" and "I hate you." They mean pretty much the same thing anymore. And so when she saw me and her eyes said "I hate you," and of course so did mine, I assume that we both meant "I miss you" even though I know it isn't true, because I can't stand her.

I'm not the one making a mistake. My girlfriend is. She knows it. I'm not worth anyone's time and I don't know why she's pretending I am, but I'm a bad person who has done bad things and she should not be dating me.