1. Be Born With "A Gift"
I've always been intelligent. I've always been a talker. Both of these things constantly get me in trouble, because on one hand, I know what I'm talking about, usually, while on the other, I can't shut the fuck up. This has been regarded as both a blessing and a curse, depending on what I'm going through at that particular point in my life. During things like heated political debates and discussions about philosophical shit dealing with God and other bullshit I'm "very smart." But for some reason when I start telling a girl everything that she's doing wrong and start instigating fucking drama people call me a "self-absorbed douchebag." which hardly seems fair. They don't know jack-shit about me, how can they possibly say I'm "very smart?"
2. Refuse To Do Much Of Anything, Really
I used to have shit like "dreams" and "hopes" back before I decided that everything we do in life is really just bullshit anyway and there's no real purpose in trying to get something done if it's only a matter of time before we die and then people forget our names. Hardly anyone has ever gone down in history and whatever you have always dreamed of being likely hasn't had very many famous people in that field. Anyway I used to have a lot of hope. I aspired to do shit with my life, but I gave up on that at a pretty young age and settled instead for "doing whatever shit happens to fall right into my hands." This continues to piss people off because I do VERY little in the way of actual fucking work and yet I seem to have a lot of opportunities.
3. Come Up With A Bad-ass Excuse Like "Oh, I'm Just Waiting For The Right Time"
Theres this girl that I used to know who had a lot of advice for me, always. She thought I was going to be an amazing person, a great dad, an awesome president, a fucking bad-ass rich guy and a good friend. But instead I did a lot of giving up and I told her I didn't really give a shit about anything and she stopped being my friend because I'm a huge asshole. I have a lot of things wrong with me and most of them have to do with the fact that I'm work-avoidant but a huge heaping load of them are due to my extreme self-hatred. But that doesn't matter. Everybody hates themselves.
4. Die Sad and Alone With The Words "What If" As Your Epitaph.
There was an episode of Glee where they all wore shirts with the thing about themselves that they are embarrassed about, or hate about themselves.
2. Refuse To Do Much Of Anything, Really
I used to have shit like "dreams" and "hopes" back before I decided that everything we do in life is really just bullshit anyway and there's no real purpose in trying to get something done if it's only a matter of time before we die and then people forget our names. Hardly anyone has ever gone down in history and whatever you have always dreamed of being likely hasn't had very many famous people in that field. Anyway I used to have a lot of hope. I aspired to do shit with my life, but I gave up on that at a pretty young age and settled instead for "doing whatever shit happens to fall right into my hands." This continues to piss people off because I do VERY little in the way of actual fucking work and yet I seem to have a lot of opportunities.
3. Come Up With A Bad-ass Excuse Like "Oh, I'm Just Waiting For The Right Time"
Theres this girl that I used to know who had a lot of advice for me, always. She thought I was going to be an amazing person, a great dad, an awesome president, a fucking bad-ass rich guy and a good friend. But instead I did a lot of giving up and I told her I didn't really give a shit about anything and she stopped being my friend because I'm a huge asshole. I have a lot of things wrong with me and most of them have to do with the fact that I'm work-avoidant but a huge heaping load of them are due to my extreme self-hatred. But that doesn't matter. Everybody hates themselves.
4. Die Sad and Alone With The Words "What If" As Your Epitaph.
There was an episode of Glee where they all wore shirts with the thing about themselves that they are embarrassed about, or hate about themselves.
Mine would, without a doubt say "HATES HIMSELF."
I spend a lot of time pretending I'm all that, and narcissistic and other shit, but really, I hate everything about myself from my nose to my bi-polar to my sexuality to my lack of fashion sense to my bathroom anxiety to my lack of respect for females to my lack of aspiration to my self-hatred. But since I would never be able to fit all of that shit on a shirt, fuck it.
I spend a lot of time pretending I'm all that, and narcissistic and other shit, but really, I hate everything about myself from my nose to my bi-polar to my sexuality to my lack of fashion sense to my bathroom anxiety to my lack of respect for females to my lack of aspiration to my self-hatred. But since I would never be able to fit all of that shit on a shirt, fuck it.
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