I wrote this song while single and not many people have seen it

Landing gear- By HighSchool Lows.
one of the first
One of the best


Here is the place, And this is the moment
Your word is dead and we're gathered to mourn it.
Follow me, into your heart.
Follow me back to start.


we'll climb up a mountain and jump off a plane,
forget to pack a parachute and aim for the train.
Yeah we, were quick to learn to fly but we never learned to land.
and I was quick to say I loved you, but I never held your hand

and I, cry your name.
And you Live in vain.
and they, smile and go on as though they wrote their own songs.
and we keep on singing ours.
and I play my fake guitar.


I.
Know you never dreamed about me the way I spoke of you.
and screamed until you cried and spat upon your shoe.
And now as I'm dragged away, there's only one thing I can say.
and that's, "baby, don't you leave me. I won't let you, out of my arms.
Baby, just say me. When your asked who stole your heart."

But.
They'll never teach you that
Love's blinder than a bat.
And uglier than an unborn embryo.

we'll climb up a mountain and jump off a plane,
forget to pack a parachute and aim for the train.
Yeah we, were quick to learn to fly but we never learned to land.
and I was quick to say I loved you, but I never held your hand.

and you're the kibosh on my master plan.
and I'm the sidewalk on which you wish to stand.
and they keep saying that we don't understand.
but we play our games in the sand.
and I say when you take my hand:

"I know I never said this but you're the world to me,
And though I never meant it I said you're not for me.
But now and only now as they're dragging me away.
There's something that I've always wanted to hear you say and that's,
'baby, don't you leave me. I won't let you, out of my arms.
Baby, just say me. When your asked who stole your heart.'
But.
They'll never teach you that
Love's blinder than a bat."


we'll climb up a mountain and jump off a plane,
forget to pack a parachute and scream like we were trained
Yeah we, were really bad at landing but we never really tried
and I was quick to say I loved you, but I never said I lied.









the best feeling in the world is when someone you don't know tells you that something you've written is beautiful.

Day 25: and then she walked in.

It was today.
Today that I told the first member of my family about my problems.
Today that I handed the letter to the last girl on the planet.
Today that I sang, for the first time, to an audience of one.

Today...
The day that it becomes 1month3days...
Today that I looked in the mirror and softly said to myself "You made a difference"

Onward, to victory.

What have I done?

Up to this point, I haven't been extremely honest with everyone.
I wasn't diagnosed as schizophrenic, but I do hear voices.
It was in 6th grade that I started shooting up, and by 9th grade, I was addicted to a lot of drugs.
Up until about a month ago, I was getting high daily, but my friends gave me an intervention, and I quit...
it hurts, but I quit.
The following is a paper i wrote today:

And it was through feeding my addiction that I realized that love is real, and Life is meaningful. The entire time, I knew I was killing myself, but that had ceased to matter. I was avoiding the pain, and even though my body was racked with voices that weren't mine and words I hadn't spoken, I felt better.
I kept feeling better, up until I lost all I had.
It was then that it stopped being an addiction, stemmed from a coping method, and turned into a suicide attempt, Death no longer even worried me. By that time I had lost all that was keeping me alive, I lost my girlfriend, my friends, I fought my family, My grades dropped, I lost money, But worst of all, I lost myself.
No longer were drugs a subject, or even a problem. I shot up in the boys bathroom, I stole pills from people, I did ecstasy and pot. I slowly died....
And the voices said what I was doing was the right thing... the voices still haven't left.... but that man, has.



Stay Free,
Ryan Dilks

I've nothing to give you, but you're all that I need.

Is it possible to fall in love at first sight?
I'm not saying that I have.
One of my friends thinks that he is,
I understand how much he likes this girl, but I don't think it's love at all.
He's never been the type to fall in love.

Someone described my words as romantic, and me as a hopeless romantic.
Someone said that a sheer sentence from me can woo a person into loving me.
The same exact person despises me, and used that as an insult.
But I see it as a compliment.
The problem is, I've never written an actual love letter.
I wrote plenty of romantic things in my last relationship, but never once a love letter.
And at this point in time, I have nobody to write one to.
Well, I do like this girl...
But she doesn't know it, she hasn't the slightest idea.
Yet I feel like telling her.
But I can't seem to verbalize it...

The Song For The Genius

Ask him to write you a poem
and he'll simply take your breath away
Ask him to write you a story
and he'll simply take your words away
Ask him to write you a song
and he'll simply take your heart away
But beg the genius not to write a thing
and he'll find a way to take them anyway

[!]And there it is

God blessed me with this horrible Curse
The sick ability to Lie in Lyric and Verse.
The sick ability to Kill, Ruin, and Rhyme
To Heal, Love, Laugh, all in rhythm and Time.
To Stab, Rip, Tear, Stitch, Fix, Kiss.
Play God, Play Dead, Play pissed.
All in Rhythm, and Time
Verse and Rhyme

Tim Minchin = genius

LOLOL

You've been led on, completely wrong, the whole time

We are flailing, but as hard as we may buck
the king of fools is still in place and fit to rule

Yes, Max Bemis is my hero.
that song is called "a Presidential Suite"

Rarrr, I'm done fighting.
I decided that, today.
I'm done, it's stupid.
She decided that too...
and it makes me happy.

I dunno, it's a waste of time and energy to fight all the time.

Theres a song that makes me freaking shiverrrrr

Plea, by say anything
(surprise surprise, right?)

CYRANO DE BERGERAC IS AN AWESOME PLAY

yes, (:
All of the above.

My friends (aftergiving me an intervention at lunch) said they wanna hang out this weekend.
They're looking out for me.
I love them so much.
<3

So, I was playing football in the quad during lunch today, and I hit alcott in the jaw, on accident.
Soz, broooo



.......VAGINAS!
"What did you say, Ryan?"
"My favorite state... virginia."


WooTWooT,
Ryandilks
(Maybe some day we, together can be, the king and queen of all I've seen)

Day 24: This is my last song for you, I will not be your number two

Thoughts On A Liberal Education by Say Anything.

So, just in case you /don't/ know already, I'm bisexual.
The thing is, I have NO idea how to come out to my mother.
I really want to, and I can't imagine she'd care...
But it'll help prepare me for my Dad...
It's just weird, is all.

So, today was the day that it finally happened.
I moved on.
Thats not to say I'm over her, but I asked my ex (shelby) back out.
She said maybe.
She's scared that I'm super obsessive, still...
I am.
Whatever, though.
it's a big deal to me that I finally moved on.

I wrote another song, too.
But I lost it.
It's whatever, though, it wasn't that great.

signed,
RyanThomasDilks
(at least, today)

You're looking quite sharp, sugar.

'Cause you turned me on
I'd like to know if you were trying
turned me on
and angel we are so gone.


So I want a tattoooooo
On each wrist
I want angel wings.
one with my grandmas first name on it, the other with her last.
I think it looks good, actually
I only want three tattoos total (both of those counting as one)
I want the wings, A thunderbolt somewhere and either
"I move too slow;
I think too fast" on my ribcage or "I shall grow and grow" on my arm.


ryandilsk

Day Number 23: Let me count the ways...

So, I was sick today.
That's why I wasn't at school.
I won't be in school most of tomorrow either, I have therapy.

I like this girllllll.
(:
Yeah, haha I'm such a 7 year old.
She knows I like her, and she likes me back.
We aren't dating because of me.
I'm scurred of hurting herrr.
Cause you know, I'm obsessive.

GAHHCRACKERJACKS
My arm doesn't shake because of mental instability.
It shakes because of things I don't really feel like discussing...



I do, however, feel musically inspired


,RTD!

Day Twenty-Two: I play a silly game, where reflection is her

And she lovingly purrs my name but it won't occur.


That song is good.
it has nothing to do with today (:

There is a song, however, that relates well to today:

Try not to save me by Two Tongues.



Okay, honesty: I'm not okay.
At all, I have a notebook that says... things.
I've done drugs...
I've hurt people.
And I've been stuck between brilliance and insanity.
People have talked about me, people have /lied/ about me, and people have hated me.
People have loved me, they've kissed me, and they've been there for me.
but all in all, I'm the same as you.

only different.

,Ryan.

They said I have to enter.

My poem is titled "Where?"

The future.
Coming. Going.
Fleeting.
The future is a place
Not visible on any map
Yet still tangible.
They say it is in front of you.
But where?
The future is a place.
But where?

A song of obsession.

Something to bleed on (Less than a phenom) by Highschool low


And you said to let you go
But I said Oh fuck no
Because you dont wanna try me
Boy, breakups sure are hard
I burned my name in your front yard
Because you don't wanna try me
You say "Just stop" but give it a rest
I once more cop a feel of your breast.
Yes, you don't wanna try me.

Chorus: And I'd let you go but you don't wanna fall again
I'll let your parents know that you were killed by your best friend
But if you DARE to say you're done.
I'll cut you up, just the thought and I'm having fun

One more word and I'll tear your tongue right from your mouth
You said I was a better man, but the truth, girl, is I'm a louse
Don't you lie to me Argentina.
I won't stand to be less than a phenom
open the hangar here comes the plane
I saved all your pictures (But I scratched out the eyes) So I'm not in-fucking-sane.

Chorus.

(They pulled me apart stuck your name in my heart, don't be scared if I express this with a hug, a knife, a kiss) (x2)

I'll write you letters till i snap
You write restraining orders back
so many papers to keep me away
But they're torn so easily.