I'm sinking like a stone in the sea.

I’m burning like a bridge for your body…

Why was it Saturday night when I carried you from the stadium to the bus? I have two sprained ankles, and you were tired. You rested your head in my shoulder and hugged my neck closely while I held you in my hands and felt big and important. I set you down and you invited me to Dennys. “I can’t go, my dad’s coming to pick me up already.” You smile and I walk away, hearing you say “Text me in the morning.” I walk to my bus and join my girlfriend in the seat beside me.

I’m afraid that I’m falling for the wrong person.

Goodnight, sanity.

“I think I love you” The words hold on to the smoke in my breath as they climb out. The cigarette smoke slowly fades, while the words remain suspended in the air like some slurred reminder of the mistakes I’m making. (I have my hands behind my back, this shows insecurity, I do not want her to think i’m insecure while I’m telling her I love her; I’m avoiding eye contact, which tells her that I’m nervous; and I used the word think, which might make HER think that I say this to everyone, while I, in fact, dont.) She picks up on none of these except for the word love. I am mostly thankful. “I’m sorry, Ryan. I don’t think I can ever love you, again.” My heart gains fifty or sixty pounds over the course of three seconds. I think It’s somewhere in my lower abdomen. “W-why not?” it kills me to even ask this, because I know that secretly, I don’t want to know. I inhale slowly, trying to pull the words back into my mouth. “Because we’re too close now. I can never fall in love with you. You’re a really good friend, you found me an amazing boyfriend…” I wish she had told me it was because of the fact that I’m an angry, pathetic person. But instead she told me it was because she cared too much.

Good lord, kill me now.

You could do better, you could be the greatest man in the world

The fact that you're sitting on my lap makes no difference to me. I will pay no attention to the kisses you're laying on my cheek. I will not care about the words you are saying.
But if you could wake me up with only your touch...
I might.
I might care.

I might care that you're telling me you love me. I might care that you're trying to give me the kiss of life. I might care that you're attempting to bring me back to life.
But you are not my Jesus Christ
you cannot bring me back to life.


My empire has fallen, I am not evil.
I am just a boy.
A teenage boy.



My eyes flicker open and I show a tiny smile.
Your tears mix with mine.

I am just a boy.
but unlike the others, I am in love.









(With myself, what a novel idea)

I opened up my mind, and tried to find God. I found her where I'd least expect. She was hidden among the cigarette stained youth, in skinny black jeans, and a shirt that said "Team Jacob" She looked at me and smiled, said "Ryro!" I stepped back a step and looked at the face of perfection, and all that is right in the world. I was staring into the eyes of God. She gave me a hug, and told me everything was going to be fine...

put down that cigarette, my hearts not in it yet.

I will forever fade away. It's my only Destiny.
I met God, I did. I met God and I ruined everything with her. Her family, her friends. I ruined it. God's giving me a second chance, a chance to redeem myself. God is here for me, and I find every time we talk, God needs my help...

I love you.
I promise you.

She won't hate me long enough for us to fall in love.

the world is a sick, dark place, and highschool is just as bad. we're thrust into this hellhole that we live our lives in every day. except for every saturday and sunday. those are the days where we live our lives to the best of our ability, and as average human beings. not teenage monsters. i am a teenage monster 24/7 i am a liar, hypocritic, moron. i would enjoy very much if you would calmly die.


I am also in like with a girl I have never spoken to.
I am also in like with jerica.
I'm a horrid person.
I love it :D

Guiding Satans steady hand.

Wish me luck fuckers.
Tomorrow I head into the lions den.
My mouth tastes like cigarettes and malicious intent.
I am hoping that by the time she tastes my tongue it will not be flavored of gin and unadmirable plans.
But who knows, right?
It probably will.
I'm such a terrible person, after all.
I can only hope that it'll stay that way long enough for her to realize it.
(:
I'm so sick.
I love it.