There are some people in this world who are neither here nor there.
But we all have desires.
Not the dreams and hopes we make public, but secret, hidden desires.
Some people go there whole life wondering what it would be like to kill a person, and some people go forever thinking about how bad they just want to jump off a building.
Doing things for the sake of being dangerous.
I wonder how capable of murder I am, yes, but I've never really seriously considered doing it.
I couldn't.
I've always wanted to jump off of a building, but I've wanted to survive, so I'm not sure it counts.
I hate the idea of it, but I want to destroy the world.
By myself, ruin everyones life, and whatnot.
I'm doing it to myself, again.
Being dangerous for the sake of being dangerous.
Going crazy for the sake of going crazy.
Hurting her before she can hurt me.
20100929
!
Why the hell have i changed so much?
i read my first blog, and it's almost completely gone.
That version of myself has faded into near non-existance.
i suppose that's a good thing. I've gone through my fall, so now i'm rebuilding myself from the bottom up.
we're all terrible people.
embrace the shit out of it.
i read my first blog, and it's almost completely gone.
That version of myself has faded into near non-existance.
i suppose that's a good thing. I've gone through my fall, so now i'm rebuilding myself from the bottom up.
we're all terrible people.
embrace the shit out of it.
WWJD?
The autumn air engulfs my skin when I step outside. It's oddly pleasant out here. Not nearly as hot as it had been. I shiver, even though it isn't cold. In a few seconds, somewhere around sixty, I'll see her again, finally. After four days of turmoil and hatred for myself, I'll see my savior. She's wearing purple, and her glasses are on, she looks beautiful as ever. I missed her.
smile.
I do. That wasn't bad advice, Jeremy. I missed you, too.
why is Stalker with her? she hates him, you hate him. why is he here?
I frown, she notices, she shakes her head, he notices, he zeroes in on me.
hit him.
I do. Fist meet chin, floor meet body. I smile again, as the blood pours from his lip.
"Back the fuck off, kiddo." I smile sickly, he's mine. I should kill him, but for now, scaring him is enough. Stalker, you are a dirty young man. Go fuck yourself, I hate you so bad.
She isn't smiling.
He is standing still.
I smile as the blood pours from her lip.
The gun in my hand still smoking.
I have hurt her.
You have hurt her.
No, baby. /we/ have killed her.
smile.
I do. That wasn't bad advice, Jeremy. I missed you, too.
why is Stalker with her? she hates him, you hate him. why is he here?
I frown, she notices, she shakes her head, he notices, he zeroes in on me.
hit him.
I do. Fist meet chin, floor meet body. I smile again, as the blood pours from his lip.
"Back the fuck off, kiddo." I smile sickly, he's mine. I should kill him, but for now, scaring him is enough. Stalker, you are a dirty young man. Go fuck yourself, I hate you so bad.
She isn't smiling.
He is standing still.
I smile as the blood pours from her lip.
The gun in my hand still smoking.
I have hurt her.
You have hurt her.
No, baby. /we/ have killed her.
20100928
Catharsis.
Two sides twist and then collide
You're calling off the guards, I'm coming through (Am I coming through..)
Adulteress conditioned to a spin cycled submission
"You know sometimes it just feels better to give in"
(Sometimes it just feels better to give in)
Boy meets girl, who he immediately falls in love with. She just wants to be friends.
So they become best friends.
And it's all too familiar and it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine little pieces that avoid an awful crime
But it's you I can't deny.
He hates himself for letting it happen, but he knows that he's not the first to be put into this situation.
Dull heat rises from the sheets,
I'm both a patient boy... (well) and a jealous man
(Am I coming...)
But double standardarized suspicion is remedied,
Oh My Blue Heaven
"Sometimes it just feels better to give in..."
(Sometimes it just feels better to give in)
boy tells girl that her boyfriend was cheating on her. And of course, she believes him, thereby dumping boyfriend.
And it's all too familiar and it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine little pieces that avoid an awful crime
But it's you I can't deny.
he knows what he did was wrong, but fuck it. He asks her out.
We swing and we sway
as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing,
"You're safe, child, you are safe"
(You're safe, child, you are safe)
You're safe, child, you are safe.
We swing and we sway
as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing,
"You're safe, child, you are safe"
You're safe, child, you are..
Safe.. (Safe).. (Safe)... You are safe..
We swing and we sway
as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing
"You're safe, child, you are safe"
(Am I.. coming through)
She has not said yes, yet. But he knows that now, he wont feel like he used to.
He's safe.
Is this all too familiar? Does it happen all the time?
I'm just asking you to hear me;
Could you please just once just hear me?
More than anything, you wanted to be right
Still it's you, you, it's you I can't deny..
(You I can't deny)
It's you I can't deny.
we never find out her answer, but instead are left with his admittance.
This is all too familiar.
You're calling off the guards, I'm coming through (Am I coming through..)
Adulteress conditioned to a spin cycled submission
"You know sometimes it just feels better to give in"
(Sometimes it just feels better to give in)
Boy meets girl, who he immediately falls in love with. She just wants to be friends.
So they become best friends.
And it's all too familiar and it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine little pieces that avoid an awful crime
But it's you I can't deny.
He hates himself for letting it happen, but he knows that he's not the first to be put into this situation.
Dull heat rises from the sheets,
I'm both a patient boy... (well) and a jealous man
(Am I coming...)
But double standardarized suspicion is remedied,
Oh My Blue Heaven
"Sometimes it just feels better to give in..."
(Sometimes it just feels better to give in)
boy tells girl that her boyfriend was cheating on her. And of course, she believes him, thereby dumping boyfriend.
And it's all too familiar and it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine little pieces that avoid an awful crime
But it's you I can't deny.
he knows what he did was wrong, but fuck it. He asks her out.
We swing and we sway
as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing,
"You're safe, child, you are safe"
(You're safe, child, you are safe)
You're safe, child, you are safe.
We swing and we sway
as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing,
"You're safe, child, you are safe"
You're safe, child, you are..
Safe.. (Safe).. (Safe)... You are safe..
We swing and we sway
as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing
"You're safe, child, you are safe"
(Am I.. coming through)
She has not said yes, yet. But he knows that now, he wont feel like he used to.
He's safe.
Is this all too familiar? Does it happen all the time?
I'm just asking you to hear me;
Could you please just once just hear me?
More than anything, you wanted to be right
Still it's you, you, it's you I can't deny..
(You I can't deny)
It's you I can't deny.
we never find out her answer, but instead are left with his admittance.
This is all too familiar.
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