Day Thirteen: You have to have a soul to cry.

My name is Ryan Thomas Dilks and I play God.
Those were the words that led to this bullshit.
All of this, actually.
The blog, my fucked up belief system.
And the next five minutes or so that I spend.

Have you ever contemplated suicide?
Have you ever contemplated God?

Worshiping God has just turned into worshiping my Bullies.
He's picking on me.
Or us.
Well, He's picking on someone.
And for some reason or another I got involved.
It's weird.
I didn't cry when my grandmother died, I didn't cry when I got suspended, I didn't cry when my girlfriend said she was going to kill herself... But I cried when I lied and convinced myself that it was the truth.
Why?
Possibly because I'm insane.
Possibly because I was scared.
I just decided that there is nothing wrong with being a horrible person.
And I assume not crying is a rule for being a bad person.
of course I also assumed that there was someone up there controlling us like puppets, so I could be wrong again.
The only thing I know for certain is that I have a soul.
I'm starting my own religion.
Not Atheism, Not Christianity.
Neither.
Our main belief is that what happens happens.
And What does not happen, is only waiting for the opportunity.
If you can't control it, there's no use fretting over it.
Yes.
By the way.
Me and my girlfriend are... well not FIGHTING anymore.
Mostly because we aren't talking.
But yes, we aren't fighting.

Poetry, Poetry.
We fall.
We drop.
We rise.
We rebel.
We forgive.
We forget.
We read.
We write.


There are three Types of people in this world.
Askers.
Seekers.
Finders.

Askers ask the questions
Seekers search for the tools to find the answer
Finders Land on the answer.

You are one of three.
Figure out which one you are.



Ryan Dilks


ps: I'm an asker