Okay, on thursday I was suspended.
Only for one day.
Yippee.
And then I discovered an amazing song entitled "Admit It!!!"
It pretty much says everything I think about people in general.
Best verse:
When you walk by a group of quote-unquote normal people
You chuckle to yourself patting yourself on the back as you scoff
It's the same superiority complex
Shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell
And makes you a slave to the competitive capitalist dogma
You spend every moment of your waking life bitching about
I love it
Oh!
That's right.
I hate how fake people are.
It's impossible to be an individual.
you can only be ahead of the curve.
hmmm.
I'm done for now.
God is love,
Ryan Dilks
20090131
20090130
My essay on gay marriage
Ryan Dilks
1/30/09
Mrs.White
1st period
Same sex marriage
Should homosexuals be allowed to get married? Yes. They should. Not allowing them to is the first step on the path to segregation. We need to allow everyone to marry, heck; even teenagers can marry with parental permission. And yes, some people say that we’re saving them from hell by not allowing them to marry, but that doesn’t make them any less gay.
My first argument is that denying gays to marry is only taking America back a step, away from human equality. Several American heroes, such as Martin Luther King Jr. fought hard for human equality. No, they weren’t just fighting for Afro-American rights, they were fighting for human rights. Gays are humans too, and denying them the right to marriage is extremely wrong, in the exact same manner that not allowing blacks to ride in the front of the bus is. Segregation is never the right answer, and not letting them marry is exactly that. We as American need to accept gays as people; otherwise we are only second best in the equality game, fronted only by Canada. Heretofore black people couldn’t marry white people, and presently gays cannot marry another gay person, therefore gays barely have it better than Afro-Americans used to.
Furthermore, people such as teenagers can marry. Why not gays? If people who cannot accept responsibility can marry, why can’t gays? People with mental disabilities can marry, and they (with no offence meant to my audience) cannot handle marriage as well as gays can. Two women could live, married, together happily as two men do the same next door, and across the street live the retarded couple and the teenage lovers. But for now the two gay couples have to look across the street longingly, hoping to one day be allowed to marry.
Going on, some people tell me things such as, “We are saving them from eternal damnation by not allowing them to get married.” but not allowing them to marry is not changing the fact that they are gay. There are many translations of the Bible, and a few of them do say that being gay is a sin; however, every translation says that Jesus died for our sins. Saying that being gay is being anti-God is extremely ignorant, for the only way to be anti-God is to be exactly that: anti-God. Sinning is in no way being anti-God and if it is, then every person in existence is anti-God because no person in the world has committed no sins.
In conclusion, arguing that gays should not marry is extremely wrong and only taking us a step back, gays cannot marry but people with less responsibility can, and saying that it’s against the bible is not changing their sexuality. Therefore I believe that gays should be allowed to marry.
God is love,
Ryan Dilks
1/30/09
Mrs.White
1st period
Should homosexuals be allowed to get married? Yes. They should. Not allowing them to is the first step on the path to segregation. We need to allow everyone to marry, heck; even teenagers can marry with parental permission. And yes, some people say that we’re saving them from hell by not allowing them to marry, but that doesn’t make them any less gay.
My first argument is that denying gays to marry is only taking America back a step, away from human equality. Several American heroes, such as Martin Luther King Jr. fought hard for human equality. No, they weren’t just fighting for Afro-American rights, they were fighting for human rights. Gays are humans too, and denying them the right to marriage is extremely wrong, in the exact same manner that not allowing blacks to ride in the front of the bus is. Segregation is never the right answer, and not letting them marry is exactly that. We as American need to accept gays as people; otherwise we are only second best in the equality game, fronted only by Canada. Heretofore black people couldn’t marry white people, and presently gays cannot marry another gay person, therefore gays barely have it better than Afro-Americans used to.
Furthermore, people such as teenagers can marry. Why not gays? If people who cannot accept responsibility can marry, why can’t gays? People with mental disabilities can marry, and they (with no offence meant to my audience) cannot handle marriage as well as gays can. Two women could live, married, together happily as two men do the same next door, and across the street live the retarded couple and the teenage lovers. But for now the two gay couples have to look across the street longingly, hoping to one day be allowed to marry.
Going on, some people tell me things such as, “We are saving them from eternal damnation by not allowing them to get married.” but not allowing them to marry is not changing the fact that they are gay. There are many translations of the Bible, and a few of them do say that being gay is a sin; however, every translation says that Jesus died for our sins. Saying that being gay is being anti-God is extremely ignorant, for the only way to be anti-God is to be exactly that: anti-God. Sinning is in no way being anti-God and if it is, then every person in existence is anti-God because no person in the world has committed no sins.
In conclusion, arguing that gays should not marry is extremely wrong and only taking us a step back, gays cannot marry but people with less responsibility can, and saying that it’s against the bible is not changing their sexuality. Therefore I believe that gays should be allowed to marry.
God is love,
Ryan Dilks
20090128
What are you doing right now?
respirating, perspirating, fermenting, relaxing, doing, smiling, laughing, crying, wanting, waiting, taking, dying, living, hurting, thriving.
I ran across this "poem" in one of my myspace bulletins.
God is love,
Ryan Dilks
I ran across this "poem" in one of my myspace bulletins.
God is love,
Ryan Dilks
Day Two: the Thirty-Second Kennedy
Let's start on the day before.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of going to Disneyland for my nephews birthday, I always enjoy Disneyland but this time I enjoyed it even more.
I was lucky enough to see the show Fantasmic while I was there, and that is one of the coolest things I've ever seen.
It was a great mixture of sounds and imagery.
I got home, got ready for bed, and fell asleep.
This morning I wake up surprisingly easily, but my Dad (Still tired from the previous day) asked if I wanted to stay home.
I thought about it, but shook my head and headed into what would turn out to be a horrible day.
It all started before school actually began, inside the quad area.
I was standing with my friends, talking about God-knows-what when I get an extremely sharp pain in the back of my head.
I started to cry immediately.
It was a horrible headache.
After it wears down a bit I look over at my ex-girlfriend.
I understand that what she talks about is none of my business but I overheard her and her friends talking about me.
And it wasn't the normal smack-talking that I enjoy having circulate about me.
It was different.
Way different.
So I go into first period slightly angry and still in pain.
I do my work to the best of my ability and pay as close attention as I can to the prologue of Antigone (even though my brain drifted way out after Ismene told Antigone to do what she wants) and leave when the bell rings.
Boom, second period.
We got new seating charts yesterday, and I now sit in a group with another Ryan.
The problem is that me and this Ryan have never gotten along.
And listening to him talk the whole period while I'm trying to figure out why the distance formula will ever matter to me in the future is tearing my brain apart.
So I tune him out and work out the 10 problems that were assigned to me.
Boom, Science.
That's my third period.
Mister Laberrere.
Or something. (:
An easy class, easy teacher, but claustrophobic workspace.
His classroom makes me depressed.
It seems so dark and feels so tight.
I hate it.
And every second I'm not working, I'm thinking.
About everything.
About this morning, where Shelby was saying some hurtful things.
About the fact that the sub we would have during band would be Ricardo (the drum coach) who had made racist comments to me.
And about the fact that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make my headache subside.
Fourth Period band.
Ricardo.
I didn't play.
Instead I sat there with a pen and a paper, arranging words.
The words turned into a song.
Spoken:"I showed up in black.
They led me to the back.
I told them to be honest with you.
They screamed in my ear,
said I don't really care.
And proceeded to tear us in two.
And I'm swallowing my final pill,
I'm just here to make this surreal.
I just want you to know how I feel.
cause mother I swear....
I'm dressed to thrill."
Sung:
I showed up in black.
They led me to the back.
I told them to be honest with you.
They screamed in my ear,
said I don't really care.
And proceeded to tear us in two.
And I'm swallowing my final pill,
I'm just here to make this surreal.
I just want you to know how I feel.
cause mother I swear....
Chorus:
I need you know less than ever before.
I open the windows, and lock all the doors,
I want you to hate me, I want you to smile
I want you to just play dead for a while.
I loved you, to death.
I stole your final breath.
I need you to cry, out for you.
i want you to smile
I want you to smile
I need you to cry out for you.
Iwant you to know, just how good I feel.
Cause mother i promise you, I'm dressed to kill.
Chorusx2
Spoken:
I need you to hate me with every fiber of your being.
I need you.
I need you.
I'm not sure what it meant.
I just know that I like it.
About this time in the day I'm getting extremely dizzy.
And hearing Ricardo ask me why I'm not playing is only aggravating me more.
The bell rings before I have a chance to not answer.
The rest of the school day was pretty smooth.
And my day outside of school has been easy too.
The title of this post, The Thirty-Second Kennedy relates to something my cousin wrote a while back.
It was about the future, and took place during the term of the Thirty-second Kennedy.
The story was based on the idea that in the future the world is one nation.
The nation was run by a single leader, and in this case the leader was incompetent.
Yet he led the world into the greatest revolution in history.
Topics;
I said that I enjoy having people talk smack about me.
Yeah, that's because I enjoy having my name said.
Love me or hate me, you still know my name.
This normally leads to drama.
My life runs on pure drama.
And if drama doesn't start here, it finds its way
Language.
You give off signals no matter what you do.
You can make the slightest movement and someone will pick it up and register it as a feeling.
I simply lift a finger, and you read that motion as uncertainty.
You can say something as simple as "Hello." and you could have said a paragraph.
If normally you say "Hi." it could mean that you are feeling hostile about something.
Even your tone of voice can change what you mean.
Do you want to know the worst part of being insane?
That people tend to think it's contagious.
People avoid me like a leper.
For some reason they think that I could go off on a murderous rampage at any minute.
Like I'm so mentally unstable that I enjoy the smell of blood.
Or something.
In all honesty, I think that associating with an insane person is better for you.
I'm not sure how though.
Well now, I'm off to avoid dying, continue breathing, try living, and stop breaking.
God is love,
Ryan Dilks.
ps. I think that if you spin around counterclockwise really fast you can go back in time probably.
pps. It's called community service in graduation requirements too.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of going to Disneyland for my nephews birthday, I always enjoy Disneyland but this time I enjoyed it even more.
I was lucky enough to see the show Fantasmic while I was there, and that is one of the coolest things I've ever seen.
It was a great mixture of sounds and imagery.
I got home, got ready for bed, and fell asleep.
This morning I wake up surprisingly easily, but my Dad (Still tired from the previous day) asked if I wanted to stay home.
I thought about it, but shook my head and headed into what would turn out to be a horrible day.
It all started before school actually began, inside the quad area.
I was standing with my friends, talking about God-knows-what when I get an extremely sharp pain in the back of my head.
I started to cry immediately.
It was a horrible headache.
After it wears down a bit I look over at my ex-girlfriend.
I understand that what she talks about is none of my business but I overheard her and her friends talking about me.
And it wasn't the normal smack-talking that I enjoy having circulate about me.
It was different.
Way different.
So I go into first period slightly angry and still in pain.
I do my work to the best of my ability and pay as close attention as I can to the prologue of Antigone (even though my brain drifted way out after Ismene told Antigone to do what she wants) and leave when the bell rings.
Boom, second period.
We got new seating charts yesterday, and I now sit in a group with another Ryan.
The problem is that me and this Ryan have never gotten along.
And listening to him talk the whole period while I'm trying to figure out why the distance formula will ever matter to me in the future is tearing my brain apart.
So I tune him out and work out the 10 problems that were assigned to me.
Boom, Science.
That's my third period.
Mister Laberrere.
Or something. (:
An easy class, easy teacher, but claustrophobic workspace.
His classroom makes me depressed.
It seems so dark and feels so tight.
I hate it.
And every second I'm not working, I'm thinking.
About everything.
About this morning, where Shelby was saying some hurtful things.
About the fact that the sub we would have during band would be Ricardo (the drum coach) who had made racist comments to me.
And about the fact that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make my headache subside.
Fourth Period band.
Ricardo.
I didn't play.
Instead I sat there with a pen and a paper, arranging words.
The words turned into a song.
Spoken:"I showed up in black.
They led me to the back.
I told them to be honest with you.
They screamed in my ear,
said I don't really care.
And proceeded to tear us in two.
And I'm swallowing my final pill,
I'm just here to make this surreal.
I just want you to know how I feel.
cause mother I swear....
I'm dressed to thrill."
Sung:
I showed up in black.
They led me to the back.
I told them to be honest with you.
They screamed in my ear,
said I don't really care.
And proceeded to tear us in two.
And I'm swallowing my final pill,
I'm just here to make this surreal.
I just want you to know how I feel.
cause mother I swear....
Chorus:
I need you know less than ever before.
I open the windows, and lock all the doors,
I want you to hate me, I want you to smile
I want you to just play dead for a while.
I loved you, to death.
I stole your final breath.
I need you to cry, out for you.
i want you to smile
I want you to smile
I need you to cry out for you.
Iwant you to know, just how good I feel.
Cause mother i promise you, I'm dressed to kill.
Chorusx2
Spoken:
I need you to hate me with every fiber of your being.
I need you.
I need you.
I'm not sure what it meant.
I just know that I like it.
About this time in the day I'm getting extremely dizzy.
And hearing Ricardo ask me why I'm not playing is only aggravating me more.
The bell rings before I have a chance to not answer.
The rest of the school day was pretty smooth.
And my day outside of school has been easy too.
The title of this post, The Thirty-Second Kennedy relates to something my cousin wrote a while back.
It was about the future, and took place during the term of the Thirty-second Kennedy.
The story was based on the idea that in the future the world is one nation.
The nation was run by a single leader, and in this case the leader was incompetent.
Yet he led the world into the greatest revolution in history.
Topics;
I said that I enjoy having people talk smack about me.
Yeah, that's because I enjoy having my name said.
Love me or hate me, you still know my name.
This normally leads to drama.
My life runs on pure drama.
And if drama doesn't start here, it finds its way
Language.
You give off signals no matter what you do.
You can make the slightest movement and someone will pick it up and register it as a feeling.
I simply lift a finger, and you read that motion as uncertainty.
You can say something as simple as "Hello." and you could have said a paragraph.
If normally you say "Hi." it could mean that you are feeling hostile about something.
Even your tone of voice can change what you mean.
Do you want to know the worst part of being insane?
That people tend to think it's contagious.
People avoid me like a leper.
For some reason they think that I could go off on a murderous rampage at any minute.
Like I'm so mentally unstable that I enjoy the smell of blood.
Or something.
In all honesty, I think that associating with an insane person is better for you.
I'm not sure how though.
Well now, I'm off to avoid dying, continue breathing, try living, and stop breaking.
God is love,
Ryan Dilks.
ps. I think that if you spin around counterclockwise really fast you can go back in time probably.
pps. It's called community service in graduation requirements too.
20090126
Day one: The original.
My name is Ryan Thomas Dilks and I play God.
It's a habit of mine, I suppose.
I don't do it on purpose, and I don't do it in the ways you might expect.
I don't change things, I don't hook people up, and I don't try to do anything beyond what is my business.
But I drop words onto paper and rearrange them in the ugliest ways possible.
So that they become this form of Fucked-up Poetry.
And people love it.
People embrace it.
People engulf it.
I would say that I hate my "talent" of word-weaving.
But I believe that hate is a wasted emotion.
Hatred is a sacred thing, as is Love.
And wasting them on people and objects is pointless.
People do not fall in love multiple times in their life time (this is not a fact but my own personal philosophy) but once.
And to be honest, it's probably not going the be the first person you find.
And you might never fall in love.
People say that life begins at birth, some say it begins at conception.
I say that life begins when you ask it to.
A person can be breathing for 92 years and have a beating heart for 93 and never have lived.
Life is a fleeting thing.
Life is not slipping through our fingers, time is.
Life is something we have too much of.
There is no love greater than the one that you have for yourself.
No matter who you are.
And finally.
My English teacher (I hope to death that she reads this) might be having a fit right now due to my improper grammar.
But this is not done for a grade.
It's done because I cannot bear to write nothing but a persuasive essay on a topic I don't care at all about.
God is love,
Ryan Dilks.
ps: I won't be anywhere on Tuesday the Twenty-Seventh of January, because I refuse to exist that day.
It's a habit of mine, I suppose.
I don't do it on purpose, and I don't do it in the ways you might expect.
I don't change things, I don't hook people up, and I don't try to do anything beyond what is my business.
But I drop words onto paper and rearrange them in the ugliest ways possible.
So that they become this form of Fucked-up Poetry.
And people love it.
People embrace it.
People engulf it.
I would say that I hate my "talent" of word-weaving.
But I believe that hate is a wasted emotion.
Hatred is a sacred thing, as is Love.
And wasting them on people and objects is pointless.
People do not fall in love multiple times in their life time (this is not a fact but my own personal philosophy) but once.
And to be honest, it's probably not going the be the first person you find.
And you might never fall in love.
People say that life begins at birth, some say it begins at conception.
I say that life begins when you ask it to.
A person can be breathing for 92 years and have a beating heart for 93 and never have lived.
Life is a fleeting thing.
Life is not slipping through our fingers, time is.
Life is something we have too much of.
There is no love greater than the one that you have for yourself.
No matter who you are.
And finally.
My English teacher (I hope to death that she reads this) might be having a fit right now due to my improper grammar.
But this is not done for a grade.
It's done because I cannot bear to write nothing but a persuasive essay on a topic I don't care at all about.
God is love,
Ryan Dilks.
ps: I won't be anywhere on Tuesday the Twenty-Seventh of January, because I refuse to exist that day.
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